the day everything became nothing

my right eye started flickering at the beginning of 2005. today i called the eye hospital to ask if they feel it's necessary to check my eyes. the answer is yes.
in the waiting area many people were.... well, waiting. many of them bruised up. black and swollen eyes, blue and swollen eyes, plastered eyes. one guy looked like he was beaten up really bad. so what am i doing here?

the doctor calls my name and checks my eyes. seems like the retina in my right eye is detaching. damn... to be safe he puts some atropine drops in my eyes to expand the pupils. waiting time again, takes about 20 minutes to fully expand the pupils. another check.

"so doctor, what's going on?"

(silence...)

'well... it's not the retina...'
...it looks more like there is a tumor or something similar in your right eye"

(...)

'we need to do an ultrasound check tomorrow'


(...)

and i thought i'll go home with some eyedrops.

-pj