melanoma?...

got to meet dr. s. and prof. z., recognized experts on the topic of eye tumors. to make it short: very minor good news, a lot of really bad news.
according to dr. s. there is no doubt: choroidal melanoma. very dangerous, can spread to the liver and other parts of the body. then most often lethal. it was surreal. i heard and understood what dr. s. and prof. z. said, but it didn't sink (yet). melanoma? the sound of that word is not as evil as its potential illness is. same with the word metastasis.
the good news? the tumor is clearly separated from the rest of the eye, hasn't damaged the retina (yet), doesn't affect the optic nerve or the macula. can be treated by proton beam.

a timetable was fixed immediately:

- tantal clip operation 1st march 2005
- proton beam therapy starting march 7th 2005.

i'm scared.

-pj